The Old Maid and The Thief

Composer: Gian Carlo Menotti

In Miss Todd’s parlor, Miss Pinkerton arrives for an afternoon of chatting. The conversation progresses from the weather, to gossip, to former loves. For Miss Pinkerton, it was a sailor, for Miss Todd, a “learned man.” The two are interrupted by a knock on the door. Miss Pinkerton leaves, and Laetitia, Miss Todd’s maid ushers in Bob, a stranger drenched by Rain. Miss Todd is extremely generous to the stranger and invites him to stay overnight. Later, Miss Todd and Laetitia exchange impressions of their visitor and wonder what to do about the neighbors. Laetitia serves Bob with breakfast at his bed, urges him to stay for a week, but tells him that to prevent a nosy neighborhood scandal, he shall be known as a cousin from Australia. Bob agrees.

In the street, Miss Pinkerton warns Miss Todd that a thief has just escaped from the county jail. Miss is taken aback, when she learns that the convict’s description matches Bob’s. Miss Todd and Laetitia deliberate on whether to turn him in, or keep him a secret. Giving the excuse that they are worried about charges of housing a criminal, they decide to keep him, “To be killed by a man would really be much better than to live without one.” They also decide that they will “borrow” from the Women’s Club treasury and bribe him to stay.

Mending Bob’s trousers, Laetitia sings, “What a curse for a woman is a timid man, he has had plenty of chances but he makes no advances… Steal me sweet thief, for time’s flight is stealing my youth and the cares of life steal fleeting time.” Miss Pinkerton, panicked, announces that there have been reports of missing items and robberies. Diverting through the topic of weather, she also sneaks in a question about the “Australian cousin” Bob, restless in the confines his room, decides to leave despite his daily stipend. When Laetitia comes in, she begs him to reconsider, and he says that things might be a little more bearable if he had a drink. Laetitia tells Miss Todd that Bob will leave unless he is given some liquor. Since Miss Todd directs the Prohibition Committee she cannot be seen buying alcohol.

At two in the morning, Laetitia and Miss Todd break into the liquor store, and steal several bottles of gin. The next morning, back in the parlor, Miss Pinkerton brings news of the previous night’s theft and that a special detective has been hired. Suddenly, the drunken Bob bursts into the room, and Miss Todd quickly ushers Miss Pinkerton out. Now the Bob has been exposed, Laetitia and Miss Todd urge him to run away. But he replies, “I’m a beggar and a dreamer and a lost wind tossed leaf.” He claims to have done nothing wrong. When they confess that they have been stealing for his sake, Miss Todd asks, “Would you see me in prison?” To which he replies, “I don’t see any reason for keeping you out of it.” Outraged, Miss Todd leaves to call the police and accuse him for larceny, robbery, and rape. Left alone to guard Bob, Laetitia suggests that they steal Miss Todd’s car and run away together. They ransack the house, and escape. Miss Todd returns, and upon realizing what has happened, faints.
 

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