In Miss
Todd’s parlor, Miss Pinkerton arrives for an
afternoon of chatting. The conversation
progresses from the weather, to gossip, to
former loves. For Miss Pinkerton, it was a
sailor, for Miss Todd, a “learned man.” The
two are interrupted by a knock on the door.
Miss Pinkerton leaves, and Laetitia, Miss
Todd’s maid ushers in Bob, a stranger
drenched by Rain. Miss Todd is extremely
generous to the stranger and invites him to
stay overnight. Later, Miss Todd and
Laetitia exchange impressions of their
visitor and wonder what to do about the
neighbors. Laetitia serves Bob with
breakfast at his bed, urges him to stay for
a week, but tells him that to prevent a nosy
neighborhood scandal, he shall be known as a
cousin from Australia. Bob agrees.
In the
street, Miss Pinkerton warns Miss Todd that
a thief has just escaped from the county
jail. Miss is taken aback, when she learns
that the convict’s description matches
Bob’s. Miss Todd and Laetitia deliberate on
whether to turn him in, or keep him a
secret. Giving the excuse that they are
worried about charges of housing a criminal,
they decide to keep him, “To be killed by a
man would really be much better than to live
without one.” They also decide that they
will “borrow” from the Women’s Club treasury
and bribe him to stay.
Mending
Bob’s trousers, Laetitia sings, “What a
curse for a woman is a timid man, he has had
plenty of chances but he makes no advances…
Steal me sweet thief, for time’s flight is
stealing my youth and the cares of life
steal fleeting time.” Miss Pinkerton,
panicked, announces that there have been
reports of missing items and robberies.
Diverting through the topic of weather, she
also sneaks in a question about the
“Australian cousin” Bob, restless in the
confines his room, decides to leave despite
his daily stipend. When Laetitia comes in,
she begs him to reconsider, and he says that
things might be a little more bearable if he
had a drink. Laetitia tells Miss Todd that
Bob will leave unless he is given some
liquor. Since Miss Todd directs the
Prohibition Committee she cannot be seen
buying alcohol.
At two in
the morning, Laetitia and Miss Todd break
into the liquor store, and steal several
bottles of gin. The next morning, back in
the parlor, Miss Pinkerton brings news of
the previous night’s theft and that a
special detective has been hired. Suddenly,
the drunken Bob bursts into the room, and
Miss Todd quickly ushers Miss Pinkerton out.
Now the Bob has been exposed, Laetitia and
Miss Todd urge him to run away. But he
replies, “I’m a beggar and a dreamer and a
lost wind tossed leaf.” He claims to have
done nothing wrong. When they confess that
they have been stealing for his sake, Miss
Todd asks, “Would you see me in prison?” To
which he replies, “I don’t see any reason
for keeping you out of it.” Outraged, Miss
Todd leaves to call the police and accuse
him for larceny, robbery, and rape. Left
alone to guard Bob, Laetitia suggests that
they steal Miss Todd’s car and run away
together. They ransack the house, and
escape. Miss Todd returns, and upon
realizing what has happened, faints.